🌿Secretly Furious (and Growing Anyway)

When “Being Nice” Becomes a Cage

Not long ago, I watched Minnie Driver give a speech that left me breathless.

She spoke about “secretly furious women”—the ones who smile politely while carrying the weight of unmet needs, unsaid truths, and unexpressed anger.

I was deeply moved by her reading (watch it here)(watch the entire video or skip to 6.25).

It reminded me of the quiet, simmering anger so many of us carry—and how that fire can be channeled into growth, boundaries, and change.

I see this so often in the women I work with.
I’ve lived it in my own life.
And it’s why I love what we do in the Wood Section of the Home Compass system.

In the Home Compass, each section of your home is linked to an element. In the Wood Section, we look at growth, boundaries, and anger—and how all three are deeply, intimately connected.

Because here’s the truth:
Anger is not always destructive.
In fact, the forest is always angry—not in the way we were warned against, but in the way that roots push through stone.
In the way bark thickens.
In the way branches unapologetically reach for the light, whether anyone approves or not.

Anger, when rooted in truth, is protective. It defends what matters.
It says:
“Actually… no.”
“That’s not working for me.”
“Here’s what I need.”

But most of us were taught that being a good woman meant being agreeable, adaptable, nice.
We were taught to bite our tongues, soften our voices, and smile when we were screaming inside.

And when we ignore our anger long enough, it hardens into something heavier.
It doesn’t just live in our minds. It settles in our bodies.
It leaks into our voices.
It saturates our homes.

The Wood Section invites us to rewrite that story.

It says: You can be kind and also full of fire.
You can grow like a forest—with strong boundaries, deep roots, and quiet strength that doesn't need permission.

🌳 You are allowed to protect your energy, meet your needs, and say no without a 17-sentence explanation and a nervous smile.

In the Home Compass, we don’t just talk about these things—we place them.
Literally. Physically.
We choose objects, colors, and elements to reinforce these truths. We set up sections of our home that support who we are becoming.
And in the Wood Section, we honor the part of us that’s secretly furious—and finally, freeing herself.

Reflection Prompt:
If your anger were a tree, what would it be trying to protect? What would it need to feel safe enough to grow?

Curious about how your home could support your boundaries, your voice, and your healing?
That’s what the Home Compass is all about.
Design your home, design your life.